Mexico trip

I've spent the last two weeks in turmoil over whether or not to allow Isabella to go to Mexico for a missions trip. I mean, it's a MISSIONS trip, I should have faith and let her go. But tonight, I just lost it. I've not been sleeping, I've been angry at God for not giving me a diffinitive answer and I need to remind myself that He never does:) But tonight I saw a story done on tv talking about spring breakers and how they should not go and I just broke down. Believe me, I know this isn't the typical spring break trip, that wasnt it. I guess what was talked about just reiterated what I already knew. I'm not a crier but tonight, wow. I think I sobbed for a good fifteen minutes. And now at 2 in the morning, I'm exhausted, yet feel like I've gotten my answer. I had decided that Richard, Isabella and I would go to the Sunday meeting and I don't think I will. I need to call Andrew and talk with him. I've spent the last two weeks worried about what everyone would think of my decision, regardless of what it was. My family would be angry with me for allowing her to go, Andrew would think I wasn't having enough faith... but you know, what they all think does not matter. The Lord gave me this precious child to care for. She's my responsibility. I may home school her, but I'm not so strict that I don't allow her to do things. She goes on her trips, Summer in the Sun... There are 5 adults going and 30 kids, I believe. I went to Arizona with the same number and there wasn't risk like going to Mexico and I was scared to death. I remember not being able to find a couple of girls in my group that I was responsible for and I just about freaked out. Even though they were a few feet from me:) All I know is, that it hit me tonight that this child is mine. If I choose to not let her go, that is my decision and I just have this feeling she isn't supposed to go. That does not mean anything bad is going to happen to those that do go. I will undoubtedly pray a blood covering over all that are going and pray for an amazing growth period, especially for those that think they are going on a vacation:) There are many! I want to be proven wrong that nothing will go wrong, because I have many that are going on this trip that mean so much to me and that I love dearly. I'm also praying that during that time that Isabella is home, that the Lord will use her in an amazing way. It's actually exciting to see what He has in store:)